:: Get to/ Got to ::

Every morning for several years, promptly at 10am, a prominent businesswoman visited her mother in a nursing home. She was close to her mother and loved her very much. Often she had requests for appointments at the time of day. Her response was always the same: “No, I’ve got to visit with my mother.” Eventually, her mother passed away. Shortly thereafter someone asked the woman for an appointment at 10am. It suddenly hit her that she could no longer visit her mother. Her next thought was, ‘Oh, I wished I could visit my mother just one more time.’ From that moment on, she changed her “got to’s” to “get to’s.”

Her story makes us realize that pleasurable things are “get to’s.” I get to play pool today, or I get to go on vacation this week. Burdensome things are “got to’s.” I have got to go to work at 7am tomorrow, or I have got to clean the house. Since the perceptions influence thinking and performance, try this. Instead of saying, “I’ve got to go to work,” think about the people who have no job. Then you can enthusiastically change it to, “I get to go to work tomorrow.” If somebody invites you to go fishing, instead of saying, “No, I’ve got to go to my child’s game on Saturday,” think about the fact that someday your child will grow up and you won’t be able to go to his or her games. Then it’s easy to change it to “get to.”

It is amazing what that change in words will eventually do for your attitude. You will find yourself looking forward to doing those things instead of feeling as if you have to do them. With a difference in attitude, there will be a difference in performance. With a difference in performance, there will be a difference in rewards. So think about these things, and change your “got to’s” to “get to’s.”

~Credit to Junie~

:: Days with my Father ::

My mum died suddenly on September 4th, 2006

After she died, I realized how much she'd been shielding me from my father's mental state

He doesn't have Alzheimers, but he has no short-term memory, and is often lost.

I took him to my mother's funeral and to the burial, but when we got home, he'd asked me every 15-20 minutes where my mother was. I'd explain carefully that she had died, and we'd een to her funerals.

This was shocking news to him.

Why had no one told him?
Why hadn't I taken him to the funeral?
Why hadn't he visited her in the hospital?

He had no memory of these events.

After a while, I realized I couldn't keep telling him that his wife had died. He didn't remember, and it was killing both of us to re-live her death constantly.

I decided to tell him she'd gone to Paris, to take care of her brother, who was sick.

And that's where she is now.


I asked my father to look into the mirror, while I took his photograph.

Now, the thing you have to realize about my dad is that he was a very handsome man when he was young. When people talk about 'film star handsome', well, that was my dad. In fact, he WAS a film star (of sorts), in Hollywood, during the 1930s.

So when he looks in the mirror, he sees a man ravaged, a man no longer beautiful, and that upsets him deeply.

You see, he's still vain at 98. In fact, his vanity can be quite extraordinary.

I tried to take him to the doctor a few months ago, but on the way out, he caught a glimpse of himself in the hall mirror.

He was so horrified with his appearance, that he refused to leave the house until I found a 'black pencil' to dye his white hair with.


I find these scraps of writing all over the house... they are a glimpse into his mind, the disquiet he tries to hide from me

Where is everyone?
What's going on?

How lost he feels.


My dad spends an enormous amount of time in the toilet.

Because he has no short term memory, he can be in there for 2-3 hours at a time.

He'll do his business, then stand up, and as he's putting on his pants, say, "Wait a second - I have to go"

If you try and reason with him, and explain that he's just gone, he'll look at you as if you're an idiot...


Eating is often a miserable experience.

I realize now why my mother cooked the same meals over and over, towards the end of her life.

They were the only things my father would eat.

The ONLY thing he'll eat with any regularity is eggs.
Scrambled eggs, egg salad, egg-drop soup from the local chinese. He eats insane amount of eggs.

And yet, when I took him to the doctor recently, is cholesterol was down.

Maybe there are health benefits to an all-egg diet.


Because my parents had me so late, my dad was essentially retired when I was growing up.

But for my ambitious, driven father, he wasn't retired at all, just working on his next career.

Being an artist.

I have so many memories of him listening to opera, sketching, painting, sculpting.

Although he doesn't paint anymore, he still sees. He still has the artistic impulse.

He was admiring the sunset, saying that he could make a "whole series" of painting around those wonderful colors.

The urge is still there, even if the physical ability is not.



My dad is an amazing storyteller.

I've listening to him for as long as I can remember, and I've always taken pride in his oscar-winning performance.

If he is in a bad mood, I'll ask him to tell me one. He embraces the role with such gusto, that his gloom dissapates instantly.

Here, he's telling one of my favourites:

The italian Fishmonger (Judging from the crazy gesticulations and accent)

The man would tell my father, then a 10 or 12 year old kid:

'Donta squeeza the fish! It makes the eyes a-bulge'



My fater was 98 today.


I asked my father to take my photo today.

I wondered if it would show how much I love him.

I'm wearing the ring my mother was wearing, the day she died.


I found one of my dad's film.

It's a Charlie Chan's detective story, shot in the 30's.

We watched it together this afternoon. (That's him on the right).

I don't think he'd seen it since it was made.

He told me that he was too young to grow the required pencil mustache, so he had to have it 'glued on'.

It's amazing to see my dad, not as my father, but as a young man.

Vigorous, lucid, filled with life.

Me, my mother, our lives together, all shrouded in the vast unknown before him...


I'm always amazed at my father's love for my mum.

It's a constant force, like sunlight, or gravity.

He never stops talking about her. His gratitude for her love, for the relationship they had.

For the way in which she was the glue for our little family.

I loved her so much, but she drove me crazy.

My hair was too short. My shirt was too wrinkled. I wasn't standing straight.

She called me up once and told me not to go outside, because it was dangerously windy!

Now that she's gone, I realize that I spent a lifetime resisting her influence, and now, I miss it.

I think she was right about almost everything.

She would have been very happy to hear me say these words.


Sometimes when we're talking, my dad will stop, and sigh, and close his eyes.
It's then that I know, that he knows.

About my mum.

About everything.

~ By Phillip Toledano (www.dayswithmyfather.com)

Toledano's Days with My Father began as a web-based photo journal with the artist’s own text, cataloguing a poignant series of photographs of his father after his mother's death.

The resulting work is an intensely powerful, heartwrenching and yet hopeful glimpse into his personal journey with his father, as they struggle to make sense of the latter's gradual loss of memory as well as their remaining time together in the world.

:: Not Obama, It's Nana::

:: New Hideaway Spot::

As the title speaks, it's a new hideaway spot for me.As I am typing this, I'm in a cool little nice place right in the smack of the city area of this tiny red dot call Singapore. Not too much of a crowd but I guess it makes a nice place especially if you are looking for a quiet place to hang out with your BFFs.

Life has been boring for the past 2 weeks ever since Mr Seah went outstation. YES! He is outstation again. But this is good too as I've been too busy with my work these 2 weeks. And they are literally driving me crazy. And YES! I almost went into war with one of the manager. Wahahaha! I shall do another post on that!

Did I mention anywhere that I'm using my MSI baby now as I'm typing this entry. She's such a babe in her white little dress. Well, sometimes she does gets on my nerves as the screen is a tad too small (though she's at least 10" wide) but still, it doesn't help especially if you need to do some serious work. At least she's light enough to be thrown into any bag and lug around without having to get yourself an aching shoulder.

Anyway, I'm just counting down for Mr Seah to come back and off we shall go for our Bali trip.

PS: Mr Seah, remember the other day you asked me how much I've spent this time round that you are not around? Can't answer you yet, as I dunno if Mummy Calisa's friend did help me buy my other love or not. You shall know the answer soon...

:: Wii are having fun! ::

Wii bought Wii and Wii are having lotsa fun!! hahaha

Ok, it sounds idiotic but anyway Mr Television is working harder than before. He has to suffer the torture from us watching cable tv non stop, now it has to put us with us for torturing him with the new Wii.

I created a Mii and it looks so much like me when i'm wearing my specky. Kekeke...
Anyway, there's too many games to play and i'm totally obsessed with Cooking Mama though I think DS Lite is better when it comes to playing that game.

Mom and Dad are just simply hooked up on Wii Sports...

I'm going to end this entry abruptly as i've got too many things on hand to complete and it doesn't help even though I was back in the office working my ass off on a public holiday.

A friend show me this.

Adapted from http://loveinfac.rediffblogs.com/

Infatuation is instant desire,
one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It takes root and grows,
one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.
You are excited and eager,but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts,unanswered questions,
little bits pieces about your beloved
that you would just as soon examine too closely.
It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection.
It is real.It gives you strength and grows beyond you,to bolster your beloved.
You are warmed by his presence,even when he is away.
Miles do not separate you. You want him near.But near or far,
you know he is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says,"We must get married right away.
I can't risk losing him."

Love says, "Be patient.He is yours. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement.Whenever you are in one another's company you are hoping it will end in intimacy.

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating.
Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened.He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later,but love never will.

Love lifts you up.It makes you look up.It makes you think up.It makes you a better person than you were before.

:: No Subject ::

Somehow I'm beginning to enjoy taking a bus to work lately. It allows me to reflect on what I've done and allows me to day dream. I'm feeling melancholic today with no particular reason. Perhaps it's becos I've been thinking too much, too detailed.

A friend of mine share her story with me. She's only 29 this years, she dated a guy 9years ago, married him after getting together for 3 years and 6 years later they are heading for a separation. The guy didn't want to sign on the separation paper saying he still needs time to think through it. He was caught having an affair twice. And the 3rd party can still think that there's nothing wrong in pursuing her love and harrass my friend using sms and telephone call. My friend's husband is not the type who will go clubbing and drinking. He's the stingy type of man who doesn't splurge unnecessarily. But he has a bad habit of going online and know girls.

Somehow, I start to feel that I can relate to whatever is happening to my friend. I feel unsecured knowing that Facebook, Friendster (and all other social media) are on the rage. You never know if your partner is having a girlfriend/ boyfriend online and may have taken 1 step further.

I will be too subjective if I were to say Facebook is a home-wrecker but at least this is how I feel. I once indulge in Facebook, Friendster checking out my friends and throw water bomb, poke them and etc. But I find it too meaningless and serves no purpose in widening my circle of friends in this way. I rather keep to my real friends than having virtual friends whom you do not know who exactly they are.

:: Singapore Pledge ::

Ok, it's time to get all patriotic since this is the Singapore National Day month.

How many of you still remembers the Singapore's pledge we always recite when we are in Primary/ Secondary school. And how many of you really understand what it means or are you plainly just reciting for the sake of reciting? And exactly how many of you know how to recite the Singapore's Pledge in Chinese? (I admit, I didn't know the Singapore's Pledge in chinese.. Hahaha)

So while trying not to make a fool of myself in case people ask about our pledge (Who on earth will ask this question anyway), I decided to google the Singapore's Pledge. And for those of you who are feeling patriotic yet like me, forgot the Singapore's Pledge, here you go:

Singapore's Pledge (English version)
We, the citizens of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one united people
Regardless of race, language or religion
To build a democratic society
Based on justice and equality
So as to achieve happiness, prosperity & progress for our nation

信约
我们是新加坡公民， 誓愿部分种族，言语，宗教，
团结一致， 建设公正平等的民主社会， 并为实现国家之幸福，
繁荣与进步， 共同努力。

:: Labrador Nature Reserve ::

Took these photos when Jim Jim and I went to Labrador Park. Beautiful.

:: Life without Jim Jim - Day 09 ::

I seriously do not understand the meaning of coming to work on alternate saturday. You see, you spend 45mins to an hour journey just to reach the office and having to just surf the net, read the newspapers, eat your brunch and it's already 1pm. Anyway, I went to FF today and spend a good 1.5 hours giving my body the much needed work out. Feel so sluggish the whole week and that 1.5 hours prove to a good workout as my body is aching terribly.

Jim Jim is coming home soon.

Counting down the days - 6 days

:: I am the Devil::

Saw this on a friend's blog.

What Tarot card are you?

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

:: Life without Jim Jim - Day 06 ::

Cloudy

My mood isn't realli like the overcast sky outside. I'm feeling chirpy and anything except gloomy. Saw an email that says wat kind of birthday pest I am.

I am a SLUG. So what does this means?

July 01 - 09 ~ Slug
If you are a Slug: Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-together's. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you.. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath.
God bless the person then!

See, better watch ur words when u are talking to me for I may devour you.

Received a few nuisance call earlier in the evening. Whoever you are, stop making nuisance call. Get a life!

:: Dying..... From Boredom ::

I'm bored. Bored to death. I've got things to do but I dunno where to start. It's Friday, I'm in one of my Friday mood where my mind tells me to stop working cos it wun get me anywhere working on the pile of endless job...

:: Sour-ed Relationship ::

I'm sick of coming to work at times. Because I know that everytime I come to work, it means "war time". Initially it means going to "war" with the new eCom Technical Manager aka SD and I find it challenging to be fighting a cock-eyed bull. But recently, it's not just him but the whole technical team. They started to play "politics" with us. They make it seems like they can't wait to see us die and rot in this department. To me, we won't die because of some politics but find it more challenging to fight it on. But this morning something happen that makes me feel very dishearten. The only kind soul in technical team is changing... Maybe I've never know him well at all. Maybe, too many maybe... It all started with a packet of tapioca chip. Childish it seems to be but that's them.

An email was send to us:
Subject: Why did you finish the tapioca whithout leaving some for us?
Content: Hi, Just to tell you that in future, please leave some for us. All of us here at IT Support have not tasted it at all. I brought it back for all to share but I didn't expect all of you to finish it up without leaving some for us.

Skype message:
Me: sorry abt the tapioca thingy...

Z:Yesterday, before XXX go to Suntec, he want to eat the tapioca but he later change his mind and said that he will eat it when he comes back. I know you all are hungry, that was why I pass to YYY when she ask if there is anything to eat, but what I don't anticipate is that you all finished it without even having any thought for us. It hurts me more than XXX when he came back to eat but found out that it was already finish. When I bought it in Malaysia, I always have XXX in mind when I picked up the Tapioca from the shelf..because I know he like this tapioca very much.

Me: i'm realli sorry cos i didn't know any of this thing

Z: Anyway, it is already done. It is ok. Just let the matter rest. I write you all the email just to let you know so that it will never happen again. In this world, it is not only you and me but there are others as well, so we should adopt sharing culture especially in this office. We want to work in a happy environment and as much as possible, we would like to share everything. Anyway, let bygone be bygone. No big deal. I will try to get something similar for XXX later on.

Me: i will ask YYY to buy similar chips when she goes back to malaysia this weekend.. and we realli did not know that some of you haven had tat chips

Z: No... it is ok. Don't need. I will get it for him later during lunch time.

Yes, it's just a packet of Tapioca chips but what saddens me is that we are trying to work in a happy environment but is anyone in the technical team doing the same thing as they preach.

:: Blues? ::

Is there really such a thing as Monday Blues or just a psychological thinking that we all have when comes Monday. If so, I have to say, I'm only in the mood to work only 2 times a day. Come Monday, I will have Monday Blues, Tuesday and Wednesday are the only 2 days I have mood to work. Thursday, I will have Friday mood and Friday I will have my Weekend mood. Haha, actually come to think of it, all these are just psychological problem. Or could it be I no longer feel like working in this company, that's why I come up with so much excuses. To top it up, I'm so ever crazy for LJ Spree nowadays. I just bought 2 bags and now i'm lemming for a pair of smart shorts and a working skirt. Gosh! What got into me? Stress?? Nah... I'm just in 1 of my silly shopping mood. See what will happen when I see my moolah flying off from my bank account.

I wish A**** will call me soon. I'm so looking forward to a change of job but I know, I will miss my team members here...

:: Black Hair Dolly ::

Chopping off your locks are just as addictive as getting yourself more tattoos...
I've chopped my locks shorter than before and again, I've transformed into a black hair dolly.. keke...My friends now calls me the Dolly Nana

Haven take any pictures but it's almost like this:

:: Tattoos ::

Alright, I have to say I've been so tempted to get a tattoo since I was like 18 or 19... It's been 8 long years and I haven got down to doing it. I simply do not have the courage to go under the needles though I'm not afraid of injections. But I know, it's simply not the same.

Recently, I was even more tempted to have a tattoo done. I know, I'm way past the rebellious age of having tattoos on my body but at least if I do it now, I know I'm not doing it for the sake of rebelling.

I even told my dad about and he's pretty cool about it and even say "Let's go and do it together" wahaha... where to find such cool dad right? keke

I'm seriously looking for a design now. A butterfly? An angel? A pair of wing? Do it on the ankle? On my wrist? or my lower back?
This is something I have to think about it carefully since it's going to be with me for life.

:: Updates ::

Haiz, dunno what is wrong with the image uploader of blogger, simply can't upload the photos we took in Bangkok. Seriously consider "migrating" to Multiply.

Had a week mc cos of my wisdom tooth.. Arghhh, it's painful. My 2nd molar is causing me problem too. I think my toothache is caused by the molar tooth, not my wisdom. But getting it remove is might as well.

Went to watch Enchanted with Dar on Saturday. It was a splendid movie. Amy Adams as Princess Giselle is gorgeous. She seriously look like a princess came alive. Patrick Dempsey is so handsome as real-life Prince Charming.. A pity, I can't load any of the photos here. I will do it once I have the chance.

:: Long over-dued ::

I have to admit, I'm simply too lazy to write lately. Sorrieeee~~

Too many things happen over the past few months. Shan't elaborate. Just hope all will be well again and some bugger will juz disappear into thin air if not I know i know what i'll do...

Well, we have successfully rent out our unit for a whooping $2k per month *envy me* haha. but well, though there's extra income, but it's meant for our future renovation...

Congratulation to ME! I'm finally done with my final paper on 12 Nov 2007! That makes me a free woman! The result will be out on 12 Dec *cross fingers* please let me go through it smoothly so that i'll be in Perth next year for my convocation.

Did I say I'll be going to Perth on 5th Dec? Haha, seems like I'm so in love with Perth that I need to visit the beautiful city every year. My last trip was Jul 06, this year Dec 07 and coming up next is Feb 08! Woohoo! I'll be spending my 2008 CNY over there as well.

Oops! Seems like I've forgotten to post up the photos of our Bangkok Trip.. I have to say, Dream Hotel Bangkok, is darn luxury. We stayed in their one and only Dream Suite. Gosh! dream comes true.. I'll post up the photos soon. Check it out!

：：減肥大作戰：：

See my title: 減肥大作戰!!!
Yes! I'm seriously going on a diet... No.. I'm not going to stop eating. That's a very very very unhealthy way of slimming down. I'm going for less carbo, more exercise...

After browsing through the photos when I'm in Perth (July 2006) and Adelaide (April 2007), I see a difference... I put on alot... Must be the infrequent timing for my meals.

Did I ever mention my breakfast is at 10am, lunch at 3pm and dinner at 9pm since I join CBT? Gosh! What am I doing to my body... Nooooo... Going to eat healthily and on regular timing from August onwards...

Ganbatte！！